I happened to browse through this book recently. The author puts forward the following about Indians' behavior :
1. low trustworthiness
2. being privately smart and publicly dumb
3. fatalist outlook
4. being too intelligent for our own good
5. abysmal sense of public hygiene
6. lack of self-regulation and sense of fairness
7. reluctance to penalise wrong conduct in others
8. mistaking talk for action
9. deep-rooted corruption and a flair for free-riding
10. inability to follow or implement systems
11. a sense of self-worth that is massaged only if we have the ‘authority’ to break rules
12. propensity to look for loop holes in laws
It will be interesting to read this book. I promise to read and give my impressions.....
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Finding Inspiration
One of the cardinal principles of successful people is their ability to find great mentors or find Inspiration. It reminds me of Eklavya and Drona; but, it is a different line of thought, which I would blog on, later on. I learned from my experience is to find someone who inspires us to achieve bigger and better things in life – a source of constant motivation!! It is not often that we come across people who inspires, motivates and influences us. It is undeniable that we are influenced by our parents, family, friends, teachers and colleagues. We often gets inspired by, often then not, people in public, whom we hardly know (in person)...like a Narayana Murthy, a mother Theresa or a Mahatma Gandhi. The issue here about public icons is; we only "hear" about their great deeds (some of them may be exaggerated) and do not have an opportunity to see their actions in person or experience their greatness. I am fortunate to have seen an near-ordinary person, who sets goals and achieves them!! In the process inspires us to do many "tiny" things each day to fulfill our desires and inch closer to what we want to achieve in our lives.
When I first went to US, there is this guy, whom I have met in Cary, North Carolina in early 1994. I found him to be articulate and incredibly smart. Naturally, I wanted to spend some time with him, learn a few things from him. Fortunately, he was in the same apartment complex that I was staying. At that time, I did not know, he how he would make an impression, that I would carry all my life. In those days, I was very impressed with his academic credentials: A Batchelors degree from elite NIT, Trichy and an MBA from IIM Calcutta!! That was just a start...many people might have much better embellishments. As I learned more about him and his many passions: Help people become rich, his interests in Marathons, Mountaineering, Yoga, Music and public speaking….it was like trying to figure out the depth of an ocean. Most of his interests, to an extent became my passions as well, but haven't pursued with the same zeal as my friend.
When I first went to US, there is this guy, whom I have met in Cary, North Carolina in early 1994. I found him to be articulate and incredibly smart. Naturally, I wanted to spend some time with him, learn a few things from him. Fortunately, he was in the same apartment complex that I was staying. At that time, I did not know, he how he would make an impression, that I would carry all my life. In those days, I was very impressed with his academic credentials: A Batchelors degree from elite NIT, Trichy and an MBA from IIM Calcutta!! That was just a start...many people might have much better embellishments. As I learned more about him and his many passions: Help people become rich, his interests in Marathons, Mountaineering, Yoga, Music and public speaking….it was like trying to figure out the depth of an ocean. Most of his interests, to an extent became my passions as well, but haven't pursued with the same zeal as my friend.
I used to see him on the treadmill….diligent and disciplined; practicing at least an hour. I found him to be a super fast "reader" as well. He has been trying to do his MBA from a US university. He got his admission in Duke but he refused. Duke, is a top 5 university and closer to Cary, NC (may be 20 Miles). He told me, he wants to get admitted to the best of the best…..at that time it was Wharton. Given his tenacity, he got it in Wharton the next year. He joined McKinsey (A "cartier" of consulting firms), right after his 2nd MBA. Then, he became Vice President for Nextance. Now, he heads Adsense division at Google ( any takers of a job in Google?)!!
I recently heard that he won a Toastmasters Accolade, deserving so. I have followed his Treks to Mt Kilimanjaro, Mt. Kanchenjunga. His wanderlust has taken him to Mongolia, Gambia and many exotic places….I would like you to share with me a rich canvas of this friend of mine : Gopi Kallayil. There are a few snippets of his life, in the following blogs, articles and an award winning toastmaster presentations…in youtube!!
Following will give you a glimpse of one achiever!!
http://kallayil.com/articles.htm
http://gopi.blogspot.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hN1RifUpi88
Following will give you a glimpse of one achiever!!
http://kallayil.com/articles.htm
http://gopi.blogspot.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hN1RifUpi88
Let us set ourselves some goals and follow the path that gives us a sense of accomplishment and happiness.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
How to spell "Genui(o)s"?
Opportunities are dawning on the youth of emerging India like never before.....
But the younger generation, who are getting opportunities (jobs) seems to be so content with landing a job in a BPO or a IT "Big 5", who does mass recruitment....the only pride for these people seems to be "pride" in working for these companies. I once asked a group of these bright kids to spell a word that implies "focussed intelligence and great insight"....they spelled "genious". Then I asked how many people disagree with that spelling, only one girl disagreed. I asked her to give the spelling that she thinks is right, she said "Genius". I again asked the group whether they agree with it. No one agreed. I asked all of them to look into dictionary....lot of them looked puzzled....(probably, they haven't heard of terms like "Dictionary", "Encyclopedia" etc.,) They did anyway (because, I forced).
What I realized is the conviction (rote learning) with which we are trained indicates, how "close" minded we would become! One of the life skills that I realized is "continuous learning". If we are not conditioned for this, we would build a weak nation. For example, it is a common experience that with every monsoon, the roads gets eroded and there will be pot holes....., then right after the monsoon, there will apprently be new layer on the roads ( not new roads). Then, there will be be monsoon, potholes, new layers...the cycle continues...endlesslessly. Do we all agree, this is a healthy cycle? Do we think this cycle can be broken? Why we do not do what we know? One reason I think is due to our "conditioning" of lack of "continous learning" and "continous improvement" mindset. I am not pointing to one set of people, it is across all sections of the social groups.
Hmmm...who worries about all this, we will import "Road laying" technology from Germany(if at all a crisis arise), because we are a super power and we have zillion trillionaires in our country!! After all, our core competency is "software support and maintenance" and all our engineers are doing a fabulous job at it.
But the younger generation, who are getting opportunities (jobs) seems to be so content with landing a job in a BPO or a IT "Big 5", who does mass recruitment....the only pride for these people seems to be "pride" in working for these companies. I once asked a group of these bright kids to spell a word that implies "focussed intelligence and great insight"....they spelled "genious". Then I asked how many people disagree with that spelling, only one girl disagreed. I asked her to give the spelling that she thinks is right, she said "Genius". I again asked the group whether they agree with it. No one agreed. I asked all of them to look into dictionary....lot of them looked puzzled....(probably, they haven't heard of terms like "Dictionary", "Encyclopedia" etc.,) They did anyway (because, I forced).
What I realized is the conviction (rote learning) with which we are trained indicates, how "close" minded we would become! One of the life skills that I realized is "continuous learning". If we are not conditioned for this, we would build a weak nation. For example, it is a common experience that with every monsoon, the roads gets eroded and there will be pot holes....., then right after the monsoon, there will apprently be new layer on the roads ( not new roads). Then, there will be be monsoon, potholes, new layers...the cycle continues...endlesslessly. Do we all agree, this is a healthy cycle? Do we think this cycle can be broken? Why we do not do what we know? One reason I think is due to our "conditioning" of lack of "continous learning" and "continous improvement" mindset. I am not pointing to one set of people, it is across all sections of the social groups.
Hmmm...who worries about all this, we will import "Road laying" technology from Germany(if at all a crisis arise), because we are a super power and we have zillion trillionaires in our country!! After all, our core competency is "software support and maintenance" and all our engineers are doing a fabulous job at it.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Truth transcends emotions
In a world we live in, where there is a lot of social, political and econimic conditioning, propoganda, we often give in to notions and cliche's. Often we consider these notions as "laws". The rules of thumbs would be considered reality.
Some examples of this thinking is :
1. Real Estate prices always increases ( Truth : It is a market and subjected to ups and downs)
2. We have to "work hard" for money (Truth: "work smart" and create value to become rich)
3. Eating Bitter gourd, Fenugreek will reduce diabetes!! ( Does it? Were there any scientific evidence?)
4. "You will die if you eat snake gourd with eggs" ( I must have died several times over!!)
5. India is the greatest country ( the assumption is all other countries are not as good). ( Really?)
and many, many more!
Most of these arise, in my understanding that we are emotionally attached a notion that reinforces our deep rooted "insecurities". But, these could be understood in the context of, "feel good" factor. It often is not necessary to rely "unfounded" facts to "feel good". Even if we can accept the "truth", which again is subjective, we can be happy knowing that we have learned something about ourselves, thus achieving one step closer to knowing our true selves...good, or bad or ugly. Accepting the very "truth" is the first step towards achieving "nirvana".
To glorify ones' legacy need not result in putting down other achievements. Once we have the openness, we would achieve and scale bigger heights as human beings.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Symbiosis in Human interactions
In the very first blog, I have spoken about "collaboration". "Symbiosis" is a related term which means "living together of unlike Organisms". When applied to people, everyone is unique, but we live in communities, sometime asserting "Individuality", sometimes coming together as "brethren".
In management parlance, the relationships between two parties are classified as:
Win/Win : Both Parties win (Mutually beneficial Relationship)
Win/Lose : One party wins, the other loses (Exploitative Relationship)
Lose/Lose : Both are parties lose (Total productivity, Net-Net gain is negative, hence deemed that fatal for the ecosystem )
But, when I recently chanced upon "Symbiosis" while checking out a Biology textbook, I thought another dimension needs to be added to qualify relationships....based on the outcomes. Here they are :
Mutualism : Any relationship between individuals where both individuals derive a benefit.
Commensalism : A relationship between two living organisms where one benefits and the other is not significantly harmed or helped
Parasitism : A relationship is one in which one member of the association benefits while the other is harmed.
Mutualism can be attributed to a Win/Win relationship and Parasitism can be attributed to Win/Lose scenarios. The dimensions that can not be mapped directly are Commensalism and Lose/Lose. In Biology, Lose/Lose is not discussed because, it can not exist, if an ecology needs to survive. Lose/Lose unique to Human relationships ( because of developed intelligence and ego).
Commensalism is also unique to Biological world, if it were to be translated to the human relationship, the benefactor needs to be a Saint or a Philanthropist. In a world where deprivation and "abundance mindset is in short supply, commensalism is a distant thought in general Human relationships.
But, understanding of these two realms also gives us a sense of how we need to evolve in harmony with Nature.
In management parlance, the relationships between two parties are classified as:
Win/Win : Both Parties win (Mutually beneficial Relationship)
Win/Lose : One party wins, the other loses (Exploitative Relationship)
Lose/Lose : Both are parties lose (Total productivity, Net-Net gain is negative, hence deemed that fatal for the ecosystem )
But, when I recently chanced upon "Symbiosis" while checking out a Biology textbook, I thought another dimension needs to be added to qualify relationships....based on the outcomes. Here they are :
Mutualism : Any relationship between individuals where both individuals derive a benefit.
Commensalism : A relationship between two living organisms where one benefits and the other is not significantly harmed or helped
Parasitism : A relationship is one in which one member of the association benefits while the other is harmed.
Mutualism can be attributed to a Win/Win relationship and Parasitism can be attributed to Win/Lose scenarios. The dimensions that can not be mapped directly are Commensalism and Lose/Lose. In Biology, Lose/Lose is not discussed because, it can not exist, if an ecology needs to survive. Lose/Lose unique to Human relationships ( because of developed intelligence and ego).
Commensalism is also unique to Biological world, if it were to be translated to the human relationship, the benefactor needs to be a Saint or a Philanthropist. In a world where deprivation and "abundance mindset is in short supply, commensalism is a distant thought in general Human relationships.
But, understanding of these two realms also gives us a sense of how we need to evolve in harmony with Nature.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Ramayana and Mahabharata Vs Science
Generally, I do not comment on the controversial topics such as this. But after reading reports on the Ram Sethu and the passions it arose, I just couldn't resist saying something.
How do we know if Ramayana or Mahabharata happened?? How would Archeologists and anthropologists establish historicity of the same?
First, we, in India culturally, very inept in documenting any historical happenings and generally passed on orally (our mechanism of secrecy and protection of Intellectual Property). So, there is no knowing of what is actually said, and interpreted by future generations. Actually, what is told as a story could have happened millenia ago as passed on...
We all know about "Chinese whispers". We could all generally agree, that any story ever told either reflects our dreams, aspirations, inspiration from a fact or collation of all the above. The stories are aimed at entertaining, entralling, inspiring awe for some fantastic, often exaggarated events. For example, almost all the civilizations, in one form or the other spoke about flying machines or fantastic creatures such as Dragons or Phoenix reflecting their aspirations and a sense of fantasy. Hence, some of the events would have happened, may not necessary as a single story in series (that means the story might have been strung together with various fascinating events at different points of time), the stories would have been enhanced, dramatized and fine tuned as the thought progressed. So, the progression might have been, an event becoming a stories, stories embellished to become legends, Legends becoming myths... Natually, since, the stories have evolved over time, they may also reflect the cultural aspects and realities of those times.
The second perspective is scientific, for every conclusion, there needs to be some material evidence. Say for example, when we say, dinosaurs existed and perished about a 65 Million years ago in the Jurassic period, first of all, we need to establish the existence of these creatures (which is done by the skeletal remains and fossils), Their age needs to be determined (by carbon dating or DNA evidence). Then the next challenge is to prove that they were extinct...for which, initially, there would be a set of hypotheses (like epidemic, hit by a comet, earth quakes etc.,) and one by one, the options will be eliminated based on the evidence collected. All these are done based on inference, circumstantial and material evidence.....
What is surprising in Ram Sethu theory is all the numbers projected in the media seems to be a little challenging to put together a timeline. According to Hindu Vedic tradition, there are 4 eons which are Krita 1,728,000 years Before Now (BN) , Treta 1,296,000 years BN , Dwapara 864,000 BN and Kaliyuga started 432,000 BN. Ramayana happened in Threta Yuga. Some eminent vedic pundits and scholars put Threta Yuga as 1.7Million years (placing it of the advent of "Homo" species particularly, Homo Habilis). Mysteriously, they were only a species separate from other Humunids. Is this the reason why, in Ramayana, Humans (sapiens) and Vanara (primates) who belong to same Genus, communicate and mingle freely with each other?? This is a very plausible theory and is widely quoted in the Analysis of Vedic Scholars. The same reasoning is applied by Hindu scholars to date the formation of Ram sethu aka Adams Bridge, whose formation dates back to about the same time...
Pundits have used Scientific reasoning to substantiate the age of the Adams bridge. Should Vedic scholar's numbers reconcile scientifically, they have to peg the Mathsyavataram / Kurmavataram at 360 Million years (well before the age of Dinosaurs). It is claimed that Bharatam happened 50 generations later. This means Bharata (Which is Dwapara Yuga) has happened 2500 years after Ramayana (if each generation is 50 years). Hence, in best case scenario, both these epics should have happened in a span of 2500 years. If an epoch such as Yuga is say, 50-100 generations, then each Yuga may not be a fraction of Million years!! So, there is only so much reconciliation we could do with a religious claim.
Now, coming to scientific calculations.... Let us start with a brief story of life on earth. Single celled organisms called "Archaean" started in sea 4600 Million years in sea and an Amphibian life with "Carboneferous" started 360 Million years ago. If the theory of evolution and all the support for Human evolution that needs to be considered, first human was known as " Australopithecus afarensis" lived in North Africa about 3 Million years ago. It is generally believed man's hominid ancestors did not leave their African home until about two million years ago. There is, no evidence of a human presence in the Indian subcontinent before roughly 250,000 to 300,000 years ago(Did Threta yuga happened before the Human ever appeared on the continent?).. It is scientifically agreed that the "Fire" is discovered by Homo sapiens only about 20,000 years ago. The earliest known civilization is "Chinese", which happened to be called "Neolithic" or Stone age that occurred 8000 - 3700 years ago. The societies evolved, literature, medicine evolved. So, all that we know "Archeologically" about our Human civilization can only be reliably cover or history to the last 20,000 years. Anything beyond is a realm of mythology and speculation!!
Given the advances and society described in Ramayana/Mahabharata, we can reasonably sure that the societies are well formed and we can nail them, at best to have occurred from 5000 - 2000 years ago (based on the culture, society, science and astronomy, political scenario). For example, when we read descriptions of stories about castles, it tells us some engineering, architectural thoughts and principles. All the "anthropological" history with Sword making, Jewelry means, metallurgical advances etc., deals in the last 6000-3000 years. Even Harappan and Indus valley civilization of ancient India is estimated as 5000 years old. Even if Rama predated this age, it could not have been more than 8000 years old (oldest known Chinese stone age) or for benefits sake, make it 10K years old!!
If we accept the above, Adams bridge could not have been constructed by Human by no stretch of imagination (at least with the knowledge and means at his disposal during that time), but it can be conclusively said, it is "God" constructed, before human ever appeared on the Indain subcontinent and is, most likely 1.7 Million years old..as claimed. Vedic scholars have apparently has a lot of ground to cover (actually, there is no need) to rationalize the mythological events with the Hindu eons and archeological/ antropological progression. Trying to retrofit science to Vedas is next to impossible and isn't rational. The two realms are different. One is fantasy another is established science. Religion and mythology transcends reality and should hold its place nevertheless. Hence, the debate to mix and match, trying to prove "science" in mythological stories and epics will be a futile exercise.
To prove historicity of Rama will be as difficult as establishing the existence of God. Whether Rama existed or not is a mute question, as he is present in the deep conscience of the faithful. Sometimes, we will have to just go by leap of faith and and respect the sentiments of majority of the people. But, by knowing the facts and giving a rational thinking will help us make conscious choice rather than giving in to passion or emotion.
How do we know if Ramayana or Mahabharata happened?? How would Archeologists and anthropologists establish historicity of the same?
First, we, in India culturally, very inept in documenting any historical happenings and generally passed on orally (our mechanism of secrecy and protection of Intellectual Property). So, there is no knowing of what is actually said, and interpreted by future generations. Actually, what is told as a story could have happened millenia ago as passed on...
We all know about "Chinese whispers". We could all generally agree, that any story ever told either reflects our dreams, aspirations, inspiration from a fact or collation of all the above. The stories are aimed at entertaining, entralling, inspiring awe for some fantastic, often exaggarated events. For example, almost all the civilizations, in one form or the other spoke about flying machines or fantastic creatures such as Dragons or Phoenix reflecting their aspirations and a sense of fantasy. Hence, some of the events would have happened, may not necessary as a single story in series (that means the story might have been strung together with various fascinating events at different points of time), the stories would have been enhanced, dramatized and fine tuned as the thought progressed. So, the progression might have been, an event becoming a stories, stories embellished to become legends, Legends becoming myths... Natually, since, the stories have evolved over time, they may also reflect the cultural aspects and realities of those times.
The second perspective is scientific, for every conclusion, there needs to be some material evidence. Say for example, when we say, dinosaurs existed and perished about a 65 Million years ago in the Jurassic period, first of all, we need to establish the existence of these creatures (which is done by the skeletal remains and fossils), Their age needs to be determined (by carbon dating or DNA evidence). Then the next challenge is to prove that they were extinct...for which, initially, there would be a set of hypotheses (like epidemic, hit by a comet, earth quakes etc.,) and one by one, the options will be eliminated based on the evidence collected. All these are done based on inference, circumstantial and material evidence.....
What is surprising in Ram Sethu theory is all the numbers projected in the media seems to be a little challenging to put together a timeline. According to Hindu Vedic tradition, there are 4 eons which are Krita 1,728,000 years Before Now (BN) , Treta 1,296,000 years BN , Dwapara 864,000 BN and Kaliyuga started 432,000 BN. Ramayana happened in Threta Yuga. Some eminent vedic pundits and scholars put Threta Yuga as 1.7Million years (placing it of the advent of "Homo" species particularly, Homo Habilis). Mysteriously, they were only a species separate from other Humunids. Is this the reason why, in Ramayana, Humans (sapiens) and Vanara (primates) who belong to same Genus, communicate and mingle freely with each other?? This is a very plausible theory and is widely quoted in the Analysis of Vedic Scholars. The same reasoning is applied by Hindu scholars to date the formation of Ram sethu aka Adams Bridge, whose formation dates back to about the same time...
Pundits have used Scientific reasoning to substantiate the age of the Adams bridge. Should Vedic scholar's numbers reconcile scientifically, they have to peg the Mathsyavataram / Kurmavataram at 360 Million years (well before the age of Dinosaurs). It is claimed that Bharatam happened 50 generations later. This means Bharata (Which is Dwapara Yuga) has happened 2500 years after Ramayana (if each generation is 50 years). Hence, in best case scenario, both these epics should have happened in a span of 2500 years. If an epoch such as Yuga is say, 50-100 generations, then each Yuga may not be a fraction of Million years!! So, there is only so much reconciliation we could do with a religious claim.
Now, coming to scientific calculations.... Let us start with a brief story of life on earth. Single celled organisms called "Archaean" started in sea 4600 Million years in sea and an Amphibian life with "Carboneferous" started 360 Million years ago. If the theory of evolution and all the support for Human evolution that needs to be considered, first human was known as " Australopithecus afarensis" lived in North Africa about 3 Million years ago. It is generally believed man's hominid ancestors did not leave their African home until about two million years ago. There is, no evidence of a human presence in the Indian subcontinent before roughly 250,000 to 300,000 years ago(Did Threta yuga happened before the Human ever appeared on the continent?).. It is scientifically agreed that the "Fire" is discovered by Homo sapiens only about 20,000 years ago. The earliest known civilization is "Chinese", which happened to be called "Neolithic" or Stone age that occurred 8000 - 3700 years ago. The societies evolved, literature, medicine evolved. So, all that we know "Archeologically" about our Human civilization can only be reliably cover or history to the last 20,000 years. Anything beyond is a realm of mythology and speculation!!
Given the advances and society described in Ramayana/Mahabharata, we can reasonably sure that the societies are well formed and we can nail them, at best to have occurred from 5000 - 2000 years ago (based on the culture, society, science and astronomy, political scenario). For example, when we read descriptions of stories about castles, it tells us some engineering, architectural thoughts and principles. All the "anthropological" history with Sword making, Jewelry means, metallurgical advances etc., deals in the last 6000-3000 years. Even Harappan and Indus valley civilization of ancient India is estimated as 5000 years old. Even if Rama predated this age, it could not have been more than 8000 years old (oldest known Chinese stone age) or for benefits sake, make it 10K years old!!
If we accept the above, Adams bridge could not have been constructed by Human by no stretch of imagination (at least with the knowledge and means at his disposal during that time), but it can be conclusively said, it is "God" constructed, before human ever appeared on the Indain subcontinent and is, most likely 1.7 Million years old..as claimed. Vedic scholars have apparently has a lot of ground to cover (actually, there is no need) to rationalize the mythological events with the Hindu eons and archeological/ antropological progression. Trying to retrofit science to Vedas is next to impossible and isn't rational. The two realms are different. One is fantasy another is established science. Religion and mythology transcends reality and should hold its place nevertheless. Hence, the debate to mix and match, trying to prove "science" in mythological stories and epics will be a futile exercise.
To prove historicity of Rama will be as difficult as establishing the existence of God. Whether Rama existed or not is a mute question, as he is present in the deep conscience of the faithful. Sometimes, we will have to just go by leap of faith and and respect the sentiments of majority of the people. But, by knowing the facts and giving a rational thinking will help us make conscious choice rather than giving in to passion or emotion.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Why should we fail?
Let us muse on a few things like :
What do we do in order to consider failure a stepping stone?
Why do wise people say failure to be essential for eventual success?
Will Knowledge reduce the affect of the fear...?
What events in our life triggers fear?
How do we unconventionally conquer any fear??
One of the most enduring sayings that is used again and again is "failure" to be stepping stone for success. What is success? With out giving a complicated definition is : success is achieving a goal we have set out for ourselves. Actually, success is not determined by any other person other than ourselves.
We meet again soon. Till next time.....suspense!
What do we do in order to consider failure a stepping stone?
Why do wise people say failure to be essential for eventual success?
Will Knowledge reduce the affect of the fear...?
What events in our life triggers fear?
How do we unconventionally conquer any fear??
One of the most enduring sayings that is used again and again is "failure" to be stepping stone for success. What is success? With out giving a complicated definition is : success is achieving a goal we have set out for ourselves. Actually, success is not determined by any other person other than ourselves.
We meet again soon. Till next time.....suspense!
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Dynamics of Stimulus and Response
It is often mentioned in Bhagavadgita, the virtue of patience, control of senses as the epitome of an "evolved" soul. In the past, I was looking for a job opportunity. The opportunities were rare. I had to do quite a bit of networking and relationship building to get the position that met my role ( which I am very selective) expectations.
I have started the dialog with the senior leadership of the potential employer....and took the discussions forward. The offer was made, which was way below my expectation. Upon the receipt of the offer, I was let down, disappointed and angry. I intended to send the following reply to the senior leader this way :
Dear Mr. So&So,
I am sure, you remember when I contacted you directly in good faith and started dialogue in earnest for the last 6 months. I would not have, if not for great professional respect for you and confidence in my own ability to exceed any of your expectations at that level.
Last week I have received an offer from your HR (attached). It seems someone else's offer came to me. It is far below my expectations on all fronts.
I thank you for your engagement during this period and am hopeful that I will have future opportunities to work in your elite team.
Best regards,
Surya Putchala
After drafting the mail above, I have given a "cool down" period of a day and I have rephrased the response given below:
Dear So&So,
I really appreciate you for spending time in considering me in your team.
I am sure, you remember when I contacted you directlyin good faith and started dialogue in earnest. I wouldnot have, if not for great confidence in my ownability to exceed any of your expectations at that level.
I have received the offer. It is far below myexpectations on all fronts. I sincerely believe, it is due to some mis-communication.
I am hopeful that I will be right-positioned even if it means re-evaluation, discussions and time.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Best regards,
Surya Putchala
Dear Mr. So&So,
I am sure, you remember when I contacted you directly in good faith and started dialogue in earnest for the last 6 months. I would not have, if not for great professional respect for you and confidence in my own ability to exceed any of your expectations at that level.
Last week I have received an offer from your HR (attached). It seems someone else's offer came to me. It is far below my expectations on all fronts.
I thank you for your engagement during this period and am hopeful that I will have future opportunities to work in your elite team.
Best regards,
Surya Putchala
After drafting the mail above, I have given a "cool down" period of a day and I have rephrased the response given below:
Dear So&So,
I really appreciate you for spending time in considering me in your team.
I am sure, you remember when I contacted you directlyin good faith and started dialogue in earnest. I wouldnot have, if not for great confidence in my ownability to exceed any of your expectations at that level.
I have received the offer. It is far below myexpectations on all fronts. I sincerely believe, it is due to some mis-communication.
I am hopeful that I will be right-positioned even if it means re-evaluation, discussions and time.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Best regards,
Surya Putchala
Naturally, the first mail would have bought the issue to a closure and burnt a bridge, which took sometime to build. The mail I sent evoked a surprising response....from the top and the company reverted with a better offer!!
Here goes a lesson on what a restraint of our anger could do. People would provoke us into doing things that may not be beneficial to either. But, with little restraint and rethink, we can respond to a stimulus for a better result!!
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
How to overcome Fear of Failure
In this blog, let us explore and learn something about "Fear".
Pondering questions like:
What is fear?
What do we fear?
What is a failure?
Why do we fear failure?
may yield some ideas that, to me are very interesting.
I am neither a psychologist nor a philosopher, but what I found is when we think and ruminate on issue such as above, we get surprisingly interesting hypotheses...and may be some practical conclusions based of the introspection. Being objective, logical and looking an issue from different perspectives could yield a lot of further insight.
Fear is defined in the dictionary.com as a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. One of the keys in that definition is "real" or "imagined". There are a few studies that indicated that the 85% of the fear events we worry about never come true....
Now coming to defining failure, I am not going to quote from dictionary, but use a simple definition we all know. Failure is a state not been able to attaining the goal we have set our ourselves, however small it is. If I set a goal saying "wake up early in the morning at 5:00 am" everyday, and if I wake up at 5:15 am, then it is a failure....hence, certain failures are trivial and certain failures are high impact and deeply affecting.
That said, let us get back to the core theme, we are exploring.
While I was hearing NPR recently in US, there was a discussion on the fears of Americans. Can you guess?? Alright, alright, you may not have guessed it!! They fear "public speaking" followed by "death"......how unexpected?
I fear a lot of things. Amongst which, death is something which is pre-ordained. Since, with the occurrence of death, I don't exist, let us not explore fear of "death' any further........
I believe, any other fear can be overcome. I have successfully conquered "public speaking" fear recently.....This fear has stopped me from achieving my passion of being able to influence wide audience, in the past. There were times when, I my knees were week and butterflies in the stomach, the moment I saw a group of people and my lips would dry up. It was an awful feeling. I was repeatedly making fool of myself through gaffes. I could hear disparaging smiles in the audience....Can any experience, so awful?
I contended there were two reasons :
1. There was tremendous "self-consciousness" when I stood before them...mostly related to how I appeared and how I sound. What they would think of me? Do I sound stupid? Will they find faults with me?
2. I am not very confident of the subject I was dealing with.
The first reason is debilitating are related the the "self-image" I was carrying. The focus and attention is all on what other people would think and perceive about me : my looks, intelligence, knowledge etc., so worried about their judgment of me rather than my own "comfort" of doing a specific task and enjoy doing it.
Thinking of the second reason, if I were to stand before a naive audience, I have observed, I could do much better than that of an erudite audience. It made me conclude that, the more knowledge and deeper understanding I have on the subject I was articulating, lesser the fear. I also found that Knowledge is the antidote of fear. I come from and IT background. I found my My confidence levels higher when addressing IT departments when compared to functional departments. I could relate better to a CIO rather than an CFO.
So, what are some of the things we need to overcome a certain fear? These are some steps I could think of :
1. Identify what we get frightened with
2. Think about why we fear it? What are the conseuences of having that fear.
3. Willingness to conquer that fear?
4. Courage to fail several times conquering the that fear
I can vouch that conquering a fear gives you enormous joy and a sense of achievement.
I will stop this blog for the time being, but revisit this this theme a little later..... Not only will I discuss and explore many broad questions related to fear and failure, but also I will share with you my personal experiences that have helped me tremendously facing C-level Executives...in my profession. Thanks to a group of 35 friends who helped me reinforce belief in myself....
Pondering questions like:
What is fear?
What do we fear?
What is a failure?
Why do we fear failure?
may yield some ideas that, to me are very interesting.
I am neither a psychologist nor a philosopher, but what I found is when we think and ruminate on issue such as above, we get surprisingly interesting hypotheses...and may be some practical conclusions based of the introspection. Being objective, logical and looking an issue from different perspectives could yield a lot of further insight.
Fear is defined in the dictionary.com as a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. One of the keys in that definition is "real" or "imagined". There are a few studies that indicated that the 85% of the fear events we worry about never come true....
Now coming to defining failure, I am not going to quote from dictionary, but use a simple definition we all know. Failure is a state not been able to attaining the goal we have set our ourselves, however small it is. If I set a goal saying "wake up early in the morning at 5:00 am" everyday, and if I wake up at 5:15 am, then it is a failure....hence, certain failures are trivial and certain failures are high impact and deeply affecting.
That said, let us get back to the core theme, we are exploring.
While I was hearing NPR recently in US, there was a discussion on the fears of Americans. Can you guess?? Alright, alright, you may not have guessed it!! They fear "public speaking" followed by "death"......how unexpected?
I fear a lot of things. Amongst which, death is something which is pre-ordained. Since, with the occurrence of death, I don't exist, let us not explore fear of "death' any further........
I believe, any other fear can be overcome. I have successfully conquered "public speaking" fear recently.....This fear has stopped me from achieving my passion of being able to influence wide audience, in the past. There were times when, I my knees were week and butterflies in the stomach, the moment I saw a group of people and my lips would dry up. It was an awful feeling. I was repeatedly making fool of myself through gaffes. I could hear disparaging smiles in the audience....Can any experience, so awful?
I contended there were two reasons :
1. There was tremendous "self-consciousness" when I stood before them...mostly related to how I appeared and how I sound. What they would think of me? Do I sound stupid? Will they find faults with me?
2. I am not very confident of the subject I was dealing with.
The first reason is debilitating are related the the "self-image" I was carrying. The focus and attention is all on what other people would think and perceive about me : my looks, intelligence, knowledge etc., so worried about their judgment of me rather than my own "comfort" of doing a specific task and enjoy doing it.
Thinking of the second reason, if I were to stand before a naive audience, I have observed, I could do much better than that of an erudite audience. It made me conclude that, the more knowledge and deeper understanding I have on the subject I was articulating, lesser the fear. I also found that Knowledge is the antidote of fear. I come from and IT background. I found my My confidence levels higher when addressing IT departments when compared to functional departments. I could relate better to a CIO rather than an CFO.
So, what are some of the things we need to overcome a certain fear? These are some steps I could think of :
1. Identify what we get frightened with
2. Think about why we fear it? What are the conseuences of having that fear.
3. Willingness to conquer that fear?
4. Courage to fail several times conquering the that fear
I can vouch that conquering a fear gives you enormous joy and a sense of achievement.
I will stop this blog for the time being, but revisit this this theme a little later..... Not only will I discuss and explore many broad questions related to fear and failure, but also I will share with you my personal experiences that have helped me tremendously facing C-level Executives...in my profession. Thanks to a group of 35 friends who helped me reinforce belief in myself....
Criticism - a god's gift?
One of the challenges in our lives is to handle criticism. I have scuttled a lot of actions and decisions for the fear of drawing criticism from friends and family. Some of them I regret to this day. In the retrospect, I should acted more assertively and have made those painful decisions for my own sake. I believe "handling criticism" is an essential life skill that every one needs to learn. For, we all, at one time or the other, will be criticized for any action or decision we may take or do. It is, indeed painful to know that others misunderstand us or use less than flattering words about us or even disapprove our actions.
So, why would it hurt, should someone doesn't approve of our actions or decisions? I think, it is because of two reasons :
1. We give the others so much power to hurt us
2. We are unsure about ourselves.
I believe that anything that is said about us that goes against our own "self-image" is not taken well by us. Hence, how should we handle criticism and Feedback?
Let us also be cognizant that all major religions of the world beseech, "Know thyself"; implying our ultimate goal is to find-out what we are all about : Our weaknesses, strengths, values and beliefs.
The approaches to the self should be built on solid foundation of
1. Self- Introspection
2. Self-awareness and Conciousness
3. Receiveing Criticism
4. Seeking Feedback
Even a thief, a cheat, a murderer thinks that he is good and all the problems lie outside of himself......his family, community, world at large. We often see people blaming everything in sight. Hence, we are generally, insensitive to our own "contribution" to the overall situation.
Self-Introspection....as suggested by Mahatma Gandhi is a prerequisite in building our character. It is a foundation of "self-knowledge". But it is only limited because, we can potentially only know a little of a bigger picture of "ourselves". Hence, there needs to be a mechanism to gauge our actions not just with our own perspective and wisdom alone.
I came across a very good tool called Johari Window. This tool captures what others know about us as well as what we know about ourselves. When I did this excercise a few years ago, I realized how much I didn't know about myself that others knew.
Then there is a tough nut called "Criticism".
It comes in two flavors : From Within and one from outside.
The one that happens within needs to be answered by all means. We need to stay clear with our own conscience. I suggest, even if you commit a bad act ( what society believes that act to be), do it with conviction and be answerable to your self!! That means, your thought, talk and action are in harmony. The problem araises if these three are misaligned and a feeling of guilt festers in our heart. So, we should first, be answerable for ourselves before we answer anyone else in the world. Simple, huh?
We are often traumatized by what others think of us. Of all the above, being criticized is the most difficult to handle. Following are some of my thoughts on how to handle them ( and as suggested in my earlier blogs, "self-talk"):
I consider this a boon.... The giver can have two intensions : Our well being or to hurt us......In the case of his intent to hurt, we will have to consider and intropect and "self" criticize ourselves to see if there is truth in what is said. If there is, we put a change plan around the aspect that is been come to the fore....Hey, here is now we are one weakness less!! He is actually, helped us :-). So his purpose to hurt us is completely defeated!! If it is critique, it is anyway, meant to help us become better person.
Feedback is what you get either you have sought or unsolicited.....Since we have asked for it, it is our responsibility to take it seriously are improve upon!!
So much for a simple matter of "Criticism" :-)
So, why would it hurt, should someone doesn't approve of our actions or decisions? I think, it is because of two reasons :
1. We give the others so much power to hurt us
2. We are unsure about ourselves.
I believe that anything that is said about us that goes against our own "self-image" is not taken well by us. Hence, how should we handle criticism and Feedback?
Let us also be cognizant that all major religions of the world beseech, "Know thyself"; implying our ultimate goal is to find-out what we are all about : Our weaknesses, strengths, values and beliefs.
The approaches to the self should be built on solid foundation of
1. Self- Introspection
2. Self-awareness and Conciousness
3. Receiveing Criticism
4. Seeking Feedback
Even a thief, a cheat, a murderer thinks that he is good and all the problems lie outside of himself......his family, community, world at large. We often see people blaming everything in sight. Hence, we are generally, insensitive to our own "contribution" to the overall situation.
Self-Introspection....as suggested by Mahatma Gandhi is a prerequisite in building our character. It is a foundation of "self-knowledge". But it is only limited because, we can potentially only know a little of a bigger picture of "ourselves". Hence, there needs to be a mechanism to gauge our actions not just with our own perspective and wisdom alone.
I came across a very good tool called Johari Window. This tool captures what others know about us as well as what we know about ourselves. When I did this excercise a few years ago, I realized how much I didn't know about myself that others knew.
Then there is a tough nut called "Criticism".
It comes in two flavors : From Within and one from outside.
The one that happens within needs to be answered by all means. We need to stay clear with our own conscience. I suggest, even if you commit a bad act ( what society believes that act to be), do it with conviction and be answerable to your self!! That means, your thought, talk and action are in harmony. The problem araises if these three are misaligned and a feeling of guilt festers in our heart. So, we should first, be answerable for ourselves before we answer anyone else in the world. Simple, huh?
We are often traumatized by what others think of us. Of all the above, being criticized is the most difficult to handle. Following are some of my thoughts on how to handle them ( and as suggested in my earlier blogs, "self-talk"):
I consider this a boon.... The giver can have two intensions : Our well being or to hurt us......In the case of his intent to hurt, we will have to consider and intropect and "self" criticize ourselves to see if there is truth in what is said. If there is, we put a change plan around the aspect that is been come to the fore....Hey, here is now we are one weakness less!! He is actually, helped us :-). So his purpose to hurt us is completely defeated!! If it is critique, it is anyway, meant to help us become better person.
Feedback is what you get either you have sought or unsolicited.....Since we have asked for it, it is our responsibility to take it seriously are improve upon!!
So much for a simple matter of "Criticism" :-)
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Impediments to sharing
I do not have to even say or mention much cliche'd "life is a two way street". Some people say life is give and take.
There is another concept I have learned in the west that says " what goes around come around". I have experienced and validate the same in my life. When I respected people, I got respected. when I hated a person, I got it back ( although there is a time lapse between giving and getting).
What are all the above got to do with "Sharing"? The cardinal rule says, "You will be shared, only if you share".
The essential things about sharing are :
1. We must have that resource in abundance for us to be able to share.
2. We can only share things that we have. What we don't have, we can't give
3. Our own security of the resource that is being shared.
I consider "feeling of security" as a big factor inpeding our ability to share. Unless we overcome these internal demons, we will not be able to overcome being "competitive". It is also important that we keep the above points in mind, intropect, and "self-talk".
I wanted to experiment with the knowledge giving and test if I get the knowledge back in return. I can't but excited to share one of my learning experience. . I have recently taught a class on the topics I have a lot of experience and knowlege. As I was articulating my thoughts, I have formed new insights and the questions from the audience have given me new dimensions and clarity to my knowlege!! My experience with sharing has been marvellously helpful for enhancing my own thought process. So, by sharing my knowledge, I improved myself, didn't I? I have been validated, verified and improved by a collective intellect, rather than my own!! Is there any other secret, more powerful than this - "Collective Intellect"?
We often get mixed up between "Collaboration" and "Competition", competition is based on the premise that in order for us to win, some others should lose. It may make sense in a environment with limited resources. We have now come to a world where the possibilities are limitless and the opportunities are abound. There is Abundance everywhere...it is all are in our thought process.
There is another concept I have learned in the west that says " what goes around come around". I have experienced and validate the same in my life. When I respected people, I got respected. when I hated a person, I got it back ( although there is a time lapse between giving and getting).
What are all the above got to do with "Sharing"? The cardinal rule says, "You will be shared, only if you share".
The essential things about sharing are :
1. We must have that resource in abundance for us to be able to share.
2. We can only share things that we have. What we don't have, we can't give
3. Our own security of the resource that is being shared.
I consider "feeling of security" as a big factor inpeding our ability to share. Unless we overcome these internal demons, we will not be able to overcome being "competitive". It is also important that we keep the above points in mind, intropect, and "self-talk".
I wanted to experiment with the knowledge giving and test if I get the knowledge back in return. I can't but excited to share one of my learning experience. . I have recently taught a class on the topics I have a lot of experience and knowlege. As I was articulating my thoughts, I have formed new insights and the questions from the audience have given me new dimensions and clarity to my knowlege!! My experience with sharing has been marvellously helpful for enhancing my own thought process. So, by sharing my knowledge, I improved myself, didn't I? I have been validated, verified and improved by a collective intellect, rather than my own!! Is there any other secret, more powerful than this - "Collective Intellect"?
We often get mixed up between "Collaboration" and "Competition", competition is based on the premise that in order for us to win, some others should lose. It may make sense in a environment with limited resources. We have now come to a world where the possibilities are limitless and the opportunities are abound. There is Abundance everywhere...it is all are in our thought process.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Collaborating for Success
"Collaboration", for me means a lot. Some insights have dawned on me last year and it is one of the basics, I should have mastered earlier in my career for achieving greater hieghts.
In the corporate life, we are repeatedly insisted on collobaration and how it will increase the effectiveness of individuals, teams, groups and eventually an organization. Multitudes of collaboration tools including, net meetings, chats, e-mails etc., are all ubiquitous at any workplace. This is to enable individuals to collaborate and share more and more.....
It sounds commonsensical that we collaborate. But, is it easy for people to collobarate at an indivual level? Does it come naturally to us to collaborate and share? On a little comtemplation, it occured to me, that it is easier to claim we collaborate than really do. The next question is why then, is it so difficult for many people to share knowledge and collaborate?
All through our childhood, we are asked and encouraged to excel individually ( more so in western countries than in east). In this tough competitive environment, we trained all our lives to compete individually. We are taught to be "Independent". We celebrate "success" for individual accomplishments. We get jobs based on our individual exploits and talents. Hence, the brain is hardwired to excel individually.
Given the pervasiveness of this thought process and the 'cultural' underpinnings, can we expect people to take a "u-turn" and start becoming a "team player" and "collaborate" just soon after they start being in teams? Can all people become Individual Contributors?
It is beyond any doubt, that global economy works on the principles of "synergies" and "free trade" which are intrinsically based on "collaboration". Thus, in working life, the skills of teamwork and collaboration needs to be relearnt. Whoever accepts that collaboration is the only way to succeed, will relearn this critical skill and have a successful career.
In the next blog I will explore a "self" thinking process to help individuals becoming more "team" oriented.
So long .......
In the corporate life, we are repeatedly insisted on collobaration and how it will increase the effectiveness of individuals, teams, groups and eventually an organization. Multitudes of collaboration tools including, net meetings, chats, e-mails etc., are all ubiquitous at any workplace. This is to enable individuals to collaborate and share more and more.....
It sounds commonsensical that we collaborate. But, is it easy for people to collobarate at an indivual level? Does it come naturally to us to collaborate and share? On a little comtemplation, it occured to me, that it is easier to claim we collaborate than really do. The next question is why then, is it so difficult for many people to share knowledge and collaborate?
All through our childhood, we are asked and encouraged to excel individually ( more so in western countries than in east). In this tough competitive environment, we trained all our lives to compete individually. We are taught to be "Independent". We celebrate "success" for individual accomplishments. We get jobs based on our individual exploits and talents. Hence, the brain is hardwired to excel individually.
Given the pervasiveness of this thought process and the 'cultural' underpinnings, can we expect people to take a "u-turn" and start becoming a "team player" and "collaborate" just soon after they start being in teams? Can all people become Individual Contributors?
It is beyond any doubt, that global economy works on the principles of "synergies" and "free trade" which are intrinsically based on "collaboration". Thus, in working life, the skills of teamwork and collaboration needs to be relearnt. Whoever accepts that collaboration is the only way to succeed, will relearn this critical skill and have a successful career.
In the next blog I will explore a "self" thinking process to help individuals becoming more "team" oriented.
So long .......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)